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It used to be so easy. All you needed was a thick mane of tousled auburn locks, high cheekbones and a determined little chin; add an ounce of determination and an event from your past that haunts you still. Then, wham! You were the perfect fictional heroine. But now it’s not so simple. With television shows like Grey’s Anatomy and Ally McBeal, books like Bridget Jones’s Diary and Good in Bed, and movies like Miss Congeniality and Legally Blonde, we’re getting all sorts of mixed messages over how the ideal woman is supposed to be. What’s a modern girl who wants to hold herself up to impossible standards to do? Simple! Just follow these guidelines, and you’ll be as witty, complex and neurotic as the rest of them. In other words – you will be the perfect, modern-day fictional heroine. Step 1 – Be Flawed This step is super easy, because come on, we’re all already flawed anyway, right? Right! Except for one little catch. It is necessary to adopt the correct flaws, and these three are non-negotiable. 1.) You must be self-involved. This includes comparing your own petty personal problems to things like death, war, and injustice, and finding some sort of unique parallel no matter what the situation may be. It also includes having a constant inner dialogue with yourself where you point out these parallels with witty commentary. For example: “Even the news reminded me of him. Yesterday I saw this report that said routine circumcision in Africa could prevent 300,000 deaths in the next ten years. What a shocker! Chopping away at a guy’s penis could help eliminate pain, loss, and heart-ache. What will they think of next?” 2.) You must have issues with food. If you plan to be a television or movie heroine, this means that you cannot eat. Period. If you plan to be a book heroine, this means that you must eat all the time, except when you’re not eating, and then you should be thinking about eating. I strongly recommend the second option. 3.) You must become preoccupied with an unhealthy relationship. This includes but is not limited to, relationships with boyfriends, friends, mothers, fathers, roommates, and exes. Especially exes.(And make sure that your ex is dreamy, preferably with a new girlfriend who is in no way as good for him as you were.) Step 2 – Practice Retail Therapy Today’s modern day fictional heroine realizes one fundamental truth – that there is no problem too big or too small that cannot be remedied with shopping. Again, there is a catch; you need to be careful of what you go shopping for. Hard and fast rule – anything that’s practical or cheap is out. Other than that, I have provided you a list of approved shopping items, with the most highly recommended items on top, and continued in descending order: • Designer shoes • Designer beauty products • Designer chocolate • Designer purses • Designer lingerie • Anything else designer • Clothes (This is listed as the very last option because although clothes shopping can be a lot of fun, if you happen to have gone up a size, the blow to your ego will be so enormous that it will negate the therapeutic aspect of said retail therapy.) Step 3 – Have a purpose, deeply question it, then either accept it or abandon it to find a new purpose. Rather than go into unnecessary detail, I have created a handy-dandy chart. Just pick an option from each column and you’ll be good to go. 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If you want that perfect show dog look in your Shih Tzu you might as well relax to the fact that it involved brushing, brushing, brushing, and daily brushing. A thorough head-to-tail groom is often needed at least every other day if not “daily.” However, Shih Tzu coat textures are very different. You might get by with once weekly brushing if the Shih Tzu’s coat is the type of texture that does not mat and tangle easily. If you have only one Shih Tzu, grooming should not be a problem. It can be quite pleasurable for you and your Shih Tzu. It can be an excellent time to bond with each other, and have nice close little chats with each other. Where do you start? A good place to start grooming your Shih Tzu is on the tummy, the chest and inside the legs…….perhaps……there are other opinions of course, but in this article I will direct you to start with the tummy, the chest and inside the legs. You will need to have your Shih Tzu lie on his side on the table (be sure you have a nice, sturdy table to groom your Shih Tzu). There is nothing worse than a grooming table that wobbles around, except of course a grooming area that is not organized. You also need to have all your equipment organized and ready to use. So now that you have your Shih Tzu lying on its side on the table, with his legs towards you (this can be an accomplishment in itself that may take several short training sessions to get done). If the Shih Tzu just will not cooperate with you, you can start trying to train him by having him lay tummy upwards in your lap with his head facing your chest. Do this exercise first for a few days if he absolutely refuses to lie this way on the grooming table. If the above fails, you might try to groom the chest and tummy while the Shih Tzu sits on the table facing you, holding him up into a begging position by the front paws; this is not easy, since both hands are needed for some parts of the grooming, but you might have to try this as a last resort. If your Shih Tzu mats the tummy will be a prime target for matting. The tummy side of a Shih Tzu is sensitive also, so be gentle in this area. Check where the legs meet the body, this is a prime target area for severe matting as well. Something you don’t want to deal with is severe mats in these areas. These are extra sensitive areas on your Shih Tzu. The best rule to follow is pay close attention to these areas on a daily basis and never allows the mats to occur. The hair around the male penis can also be a very sensitive trouble spot. It is best to keep this area clean and shaved off. Your male Shih Tzu will give you a sigh of relief when you remove the hair in this area. How do you remove knots and mats? If you come across a mat or knot first try to tease it apart with your fingers. Then take a comb and use the end with coarse teeth to tease out the tangle slowly, working from the outside inwards and holding the hair between the knot and the body between your fingers so that you don’t pull too hard and hurt the Shih Tzu. If all else fails, a knot may have to be cut out. Cut into the knotted hair away from the dog several times before gently using the comb to clear away the knot. Never cut across the coat. This will leave an obvious hole. If you will cut down through the length of the coat you will cause much less damage. Note: The hair on the legs is more likely to tangle than anywhere else. So…..pay particular attention to these areas as well to avoid those awful and painful mats. This article continues in Part II of “Life with the Shih Tzu.” This article is FREE to publish with the resource box. cheapest penis enlarement pills penis enlargement surgery pnis enlargement picture vimax penis enlargement information penis enlargement cream bottle vimax pill natural penis enlargment technique best penis enlargment surgery free penis enlagement
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