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Before the popularity of the acai berry gained notoriety we had only vitamins A, C and E consumed by drinking orange juice or taking vitamin supplements. But today, we are not talking about just small preventative measures taken, but a real blow to sickness and disease, which has taken the form of antioxidant rich functional health beverages that many consumers swear by in their quest for health and wellness.
Currently, the antioxidant gaining the most attention the acai (pronounced ah-SAH-ee) berry which is known as a super antioxidant. The acai berry is a small dark blue fruit, similar in size to a blueberry or small grape but with less pulp, that grows in clusters of berries on acai palm trees. The acai fruit is popular among health food enthusiasts because it is high in many important vitamins and minerals, including B vitamins, Omega-3 fatty acids (such as Omega-3, Omega-6 and Omega-9), and anthocyanin/anthocyanidin phytonutrients which are members of the flavonoid class of antioxidants.
The dark purple berry, which tastes something like a blend of berries and chocolate, supposedly contains 10 to 30 times the flavonoids contained in red wine. Traditionally, Brazilians used the fruit to treat stomach disorders and skin conditions. The fruit is highly unstable when picked and rots easily, so it is rare to find the acai fruit whole when you are not in the region where they are grown. Outside the tropics the fruit is usually found in either juice or pulp form. This wonder food is purported to fight cancer, control cholesterol, increase energy, improve physical intimacy and helps weight loss. Some people even use acai as a facial astringent because the fruit has high anti-bacterial properties.
The other two superfoods getting a lot of publicity are goji and mangosteen. Many people are familiar with these two superfoods because they are the ingredients in some very popular functional health beverages. However, there are ony two companies that I know of that have managed to package all three Superfoods in one container and bottle! Let’s discuss the other two main Superfoods, shall we? Both have been identified as being just as important for healthy well-being as the acai berry.
Goji Berries - are being called the World’s Most Powerful Anti-Aging Food. In addition to being cultivated in China, Goji berries are red and grow on vines in the Himalayas in Tibet, and Mongolia. The Goji fruit is nicknamed the “happy berry” because of the sense of well being it is said to induce. Goji Berries are nutritionally rich, containing Beta-carotene, Vitamins C, B1, B2, and other vitamins, minerals, antioxidants, and amino acids. Goji Berries also contain complex phyto-nutrients and bio flavinoids.
Goji Berries are believed to enhance the immune system, help eyesight, protect the liver, boost sperm production, and improve circulation and longevity, among other effects. Goji Berries are sweet in taste and have the highest content of beta-carotene among all foods on earth.
Goji Berries have been used in Tibet for at least 1,700 years for the treatment of kidney and liver problems, to lower cholesterol and blood pressure, and cleanse the blood. Goji Berries have a long history of use in the treatment of eye problems, skin rashes, psoriasis, allergies, insomnia, chronic liver disease, diabetes and tuberculosis. Goji Berries are used by the people of Tibet to increase longevity and for overall general health.
Science has shown that this bright red berry not only contains extremely high levels of antioxidants, vitamins, and minerals, but also contains many unique phytochemicals, polysaccharides, and complex compounds that scientists are only beginning to understand. Goji Berries contain the following complex compounds:
Betaine, which is used by the liver to produce choline, a compound that calms nervousness, enhances memory, promotes muscle growth, and protects against fatty liver disease.
Physalin, which is active against all major types of leukemia. It has also been used as a treatment for hepatitis B. Solavetivone, a powerful anti-fungal and anti-bacterial compound.
Beta-Sitoserol, an anti-inflammatory agent. It has been used to treat sexual impotence and prostate enlargement. It also lowers cholesterol.
Cyperone, a sesquiterpene that benefits the heart and blood pressure. It has also been used in the treatment of cervical cancer.
Mangosteen- The mangosteen a tropical evergreen tree, believed to have originated in the Sunda Islands and the Moluccas. The edible fruit is deep reddish purple when ripe. The outer shell of the fruit (pericarp) is rather hard, resembling a spherical, black cartoon bomb. Cutting through the shell, one finds a very pale, fleshy fruit.
Mangosteen has compounds with antioxidant, anti-bacterial, anti-fungal, and anti-tumor activity that may help maintain intestinal health, strengthen the immune system, neutralize free radicals, help support cartilage and joint function, and promote a healthy respiratory system. Laboratory testing thus far indicates that extracts of mangosteen have activity against several cancer cell lines including breast, liver, and leukemia. Most notably, the mangosteen provides powerful anti-inflammatory benefits which play an important role in numerous health conditions.
For hundreds of years, the people of Southeast Asia have used the mangosteen, especially the rind, to ward off and treat infections, reduce pain or control fever, and treat various other ailments.
Most of the studies with mangosteen have focused on the pericarp, or the dark, woody rind as opposed to the fruit inside the woody rind. The pericarp contains the active xanthone compounds. Mangosteen is the only fruit that contains xanthones! The fruit itself probably has some beneficial compounds but the compounds within the mangosteen fruit have not been studied as well as the mangosteen rind.
Yerba mate is also one of the ingredients in this functional health beverage in addition to Aloe Vera Gel Pulp, CoEnzyme Q10, Cat’s Claw Bark and over 100 other nutritional ingredients.
Yerba Mate (pronounced yer-bah mah-tay) - Although yerba mate has not enjoyed the same level of media exposure as the acai berry has recently, it certainly commands respect and attention. Yerba mate is a tea like beverage popular in Argentina. The word mate derives from the word Mati that names the gourd that is used to drink the tea.
It is widely held that this tea contains mateine, a chemical cousin of caffeine that has subtly different properties. Though similar to caffeine in its ability to provide energy, it can have a milder and safer delivery to the body. Although, yerba mate is not known to interfere with sleep cycles, it does have a tendency to balance the cycles, inducing more REM sleep. Many people report that they require less sleep when using mate; usually such an experience is accompanied by a deeper, more relaxing sleep experience.
Yerba maté is replete with antioxidants that help the body fight free-radicals. Yerba mate may assist with the following: increased mental awareness and elevated mood, weight loss, increased ability to fight off disease and increased energy and vitality.
Additionally, yerba mate helps relieve allergies. It has been noted that yerba mate is helpful in opening respiratory passages to overcome allergy symptoms. It has been shown to reduce the severity of some allergies and hay fever. Yerba mate works by stimulating the adrenal glands to produce corticosteroids, which help suppress the inflammation and immune response due to allergies.
Does yerba mate exhibit anti-cancer properties like green tea? Aside from its significant antioxidant effects, research from the University of Illinois suggests yerba mate could in fact be a potent ally in cancer protection.
Labs around the country are starting to test the Acai to find what possible medical use it has. There is no doubt that this amazing fruit has a promising future in the medical world. While more study needs to be done to prove the effectiveness of some of these claims, there is no doubt that adding any of one of these plants or fruits to your diet will improve your overall and future health!
The health beverage industry is a booming market. It is currently producing over 4 billion dollars in sales and is forecasted to grow to over 10 billion in the next few years. The growth is being fueled by one thing: consumer demand. It should be no surprise why so many companies are jumping on the functional health beverage band wagon.
Medical Disclaimer
"Information on this site is for educational purposes only. It is not intended to act as a substitute for medical advice provided by a qualified health care provider, nor is any information on this intended to diagnose, treat, care or prevent any diseases. Statements have not been evaluated by the food and drug administration."
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Heel pain, also referred to as plantar fasciitis or heel spurs, is one of the most common foot conditions treated in a podiatrists office. In our fast paced lives, heel pain has become an epidemic. This is due to the combination of long work days and lack of exercise. People are also gaining weight and losing their muscle strength and flexibility. These are all contributing factors to heel pain.
Typical symptoms consist of pain when getting out of bed in the morning and after sitting. Many people also experience discomfort at the end of the day or the day after exercise/strenuous activity. Others describe their pain as radiating or sharp shooting pain which likely involves a nerve in the heel area.
A major support structure known as the plantar fascia is partially responsible for supporting the foot arch and for absorbing shock while walking. The fascia extends from the heel to the ball of the foot. The fascia is a flat band similar in makeup to a ligament. For various reasons, the fascia weakens and causes the arch to fall, thus developing a lower arch or “flat foot”. As a result, there is excessive stretch or tension on the fascial band which causes inflammation or swelling and often small tears of this band. With repeated stress of the fascia on the heel bone or calcaneus, a spur or bone enlargement develops. This is the body’s way of responding to stress. When a tissue is stressed, the body forms more of that tissue, in this case bone.
In addition to the swelling of the fascia, there is often a related irritation, entrapment or enlargement of various nerves around the heel. It has been shown that these nerves are a major source of the pain experienced with plantar fasciitis.
So what exactly causes the pain in the heel? It is a combination of swelling of the fascia and the irritated nerves of the heel. The heel spur itself causes no pain even though on x-ray it looks pointed and appears as piercing object. As a matter of fact, many people have fasciitis without the spur.
Dr. Marc Katz, a Tampa Podiatrist, notes that in his 17 years of practice he has rarely removed the actual bone spur. He also stated that over the past 10 years he has used advanced treatments to heal the pain and more recently has used a cutting edge technology known as Cryosurgery with a high success rate. Dr. Katz is the first Cryostar certified Cryosurgeon in the Tampa area for foot problems.
How do we treat Heel Pain?
Treatment of heel pain can be frustrating for the patient and physician. Healing can take months and sometimes as long as a year. This does not mean that there will be constant pain for that period of time, however, expectations need to realistic. It is important to seek early treatment.
There are many treatments for heel pain. Your doctor should customize a treatment plan depending on individual factors including lifestyle, foot types and any other associated illnesses. Treatment should not only concentrate on the heel but also on the person as a whole. Many factors both physical and psychological may be important to consider. In addition, weight control, systemic medical conditions and injuries should be evaluated. Evaluations consist of a thorough history and physical, x-rays, diagnostic ultrasound and MRI if necessary. Referrals to other specialists may be needed if there are associated medical conditions.
Treatment may include anti-inflammatory pills, ice, cortisone injections, custom orthotic arch supports, padding, strapping, night splints, removable casts, stretching, physical therapy, shockwave, homeopathic and natural medicine, change in activities, weight-loss programs, wearing different shoes, change in activities and change in life style.
Dr. Katz stated that Cryosurgery is showing some excellent long-term results! This newer treatment is recommended after trying other treatments. However, at times it may serve as a first line treatment for certain patients. This procedure is done in the office and is minimally invasive and allows the patient to quickly return to normal activities.
The patient is always advised that to help prevent recurrence of the condition, custom orthotic devices, continued stretching and body weight control are necessary.
Treatment of heel pain can be a challenge. Find a Podiatrist that is compassionate and willing to spend the necessary time and try different treatment options.
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Now I don’t need to tell you that knives and the penis just don’t mix. Surprisingly though, over 250,000 men have undergone penis enlargement surgery. While having a bigger penis can truly change your life, surgery is not your only option.
What is penis enlargement surgery?
This type of surgery, called phalloplasty, or penis augmentation surgery is one of the most well known ways to enlarge the penis.
For this type of surgery, there are usually two separate operations: one for adding length, and another for adding girth. Length is typically added by cutting a ligament that connects the penis to the pubic bone. This pushes forward part of the penis that was previously hidden inside the body. Girth, or thickness, can be enlarged by inserting fat strips from other parts of the body inside and running up along the penis shaft.
Usually for a steep $10,000, you can undergo this type of operation that only “tries” to add 1-3 inches to your penis.
Surgery is popular because its effects are almost instant (the operation can take around 4-6 hours). The downside to this is the healing time which can take up to a year, not to mention the possibility of problems arising which can lead to more surgery being needed to fix them.
The drawbacks of this procedure are that your results are not guaranteed, and other problems like discomfort, complications and side effects can bring you right back into the ER.
Some side effects from penis enlargement surgery are discomfort, swelling, and bruising. Others include infections, loss of sensation and function, a curved penis, scarring and bleeding can also occur.
After the surgery, men undergo a whole program designed around healing from this type of operation. This special program uses a method called traction to help the patient heal, or avoid any scars. It also helps the patient add even more length and thickness to the penis size gains added from the surgery.
Because of all the details of this type of surgery, a rigorous screening process is done to see whether a guy is a good candidate, and some guys just don’t cut it.
Recently though, doctors have started prescribing the method of traction by itself so these guys, and any guy with a less than average sized penis, can enlarge their penis naturally without surgery at all.
How penis traction devices work
Traction devices are commonly used after penis enlargement surgery to even out the length and girth gains and make them permanent. Instead of going under the knife, men are now using penis stretchers to add growth right at home, resulting in natural penis enlargement size gains for much less the cost of surgery.
Research has proven that these stretchers can help you gain a full inch to your penis size within 6 months. My own use of the stretcher confirms the research currently available. The device is usually worn for up to 8 hours per day, and the gains are permanent.
Visible results can be seen in under one month. While the traction device is the new guy on the block in the penis enlargement world, it’s proving itself to be an affordable, extremely effective method of natural penis enlargement.
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I really don’t know how to say this any other way. My dog decided to talk to me the other night and he had a lot to say.
It initially played like any other night really. Once again, I was tossing and turning, in and out of sleep. I was half awake, mulling over my job situation: I want to make money writing but I need an income more. Then the most bizarre thing happened.
“Hey human Bob! This is your best friend speaking! Wake up!”
Who the hell was that? It was a deep, low voice; strong and certain with a hint of a bourbon induced slur. Sounded like Dean Martin actually. I immediately sat up. It was pitch black. The radio clock blurred 3:53 in a dull crimson light. All I could make out was the shadowy outline of Parker, my trusty beagle, sitting upright at my feet.
“Hey boy, did you hear that?” I whispered instinctively. “Someone’s in the house.”
My vision was starting to warm up to the darkness. Parker just stared back at me, his head tilted, his long ears hanging to the side of his head like hand towels on a wall. He turned his head to the bedroom doorway, lifted his nose to the night and sniffed. He turned back to face me.
“Don’t think so.”
I swore Parker spoke but it couldn’t be. I mean his hound drawn lips seemed to move to the words I heard but that was impossible.
“Who’s there?” I yelled into the night. “Whoever it is, I am warning you that I am at this moment retrieving my loaded double-barrel twelve gauge from under the bed. I will shoot you. So leave now and I want to hear the door slam behind you.”
I made some dumb noises in a lame attempt to fool the intruder into believing what I had just proclaimed. I took the ruse to the next level.
“Okay. I’m fully armed and about to call 911 from my fully powered cell phone. Oh yeah, strong signal, four bars. Oh yeah, this is going to be a very clear 911 call.”
“You’re breaking me up. Put the phone down human Bob.”
It was Parker talking. I was certain of it. Nah, it had to be a sick trick.
“Okay, good one Steve. You wired up the dog with a little speaker. Very funny.”
My brother Steve was known to go to great lengths to pull off pranks. But I was pretty sure he was at his apartment in the city, sixty miles away, God knows doing what, and at 48 years old, unlikely to suddenly bother me with a prank—it had been 25 years since his last one. But the mind scrambles to the most implausible scenarios when so duly challenged.
“Don’t think so. Nope it’s me, Parker,” the dog mumbled.
I was positive he spoke again. By now I was sitting straight up, leaning towards him. He just sat there and looked at me with those big dark eyes. His poker face was on.
“Parker? Are you talking to me?”
“Well I’m not talking to myself.”
I leaned back against the headboard. He yawned.
“This can’t be. I’ve got to stop watching Animal Planet.”
“Listen, I’ve got something to say and I’m not sure how long this talking stuff is going to work so …”
“You are talking!” I interrupted incredulously.
“Should you want I bow wow?”
“Holy cow! Parker you are talking.”
“Yup. But I’m not sure for how long. So can I say a few things before …”
“I can’t believe this.”
“Yeah I know. Either can I but if you don’t mind.”
I looked at him with a giant smile plastered across my face. Parker can talk. The dog was talking. Who was I kidding? It had to be a prank. He continued.
“I’ve been listening to a lot of that talk radio and that C-SPAN channel you watch while you write. I’m here to tell ya I don’t like what I’m hearing.”
“You’re kidding me right?”
“Afraid not.”
Oh this was good. I was really hallucinating. Talk-shmalk, I had a few nagging questions of my own.
“Hey, can I ask you something before you get to your stuff?”
“Make it quick. I haven’t got all night.”
“You like smell things a hundred times more than we do, right?”
“Four hundred.”
“Okay, four hundred. Wow! Then I really wonder about this.”
“Yeah I know. Why do we like to sniff every morsel of excrement or yellow patch of urine we encounter on our walks?”
“Now that you bring it up, yeah, why? It must smell like the inside of Dick Cheney’s or Ted Kennedy’s septic tank? And you know how much crap they’re filled with.”
“That was a funny one human Bob. But it isn’t like what you smell. We pick up a lot more notes. It’s a broader pallet if you will. We don’t smell stink. We smell identity, mood, and illness. For instance, you know that crazy cairn terrier down the street?”
“Yeah.”
“She has stomach cancer and her humans don’t have a clue.”
“You are kidding me?”
“She probably has less than six months if they don’t get her to a vet soon.” He paused to lick his right front paw. “Yeah, and another thing. Don’t take me out at nights for awhile.”
“Why?”
“Cause there is a rabid possum living under the porch. That’s why.”
“You know this from the smell of possum poop?”
“Excrement.”
“Whatever.”
“Yup.” Parker yawned as if bored. “So is that it? Can I say what I need to say?”
“Well there is that thing you do with that licking your, you know, your …”
“Penis?”
“Well, yeah.”
“Jealous are we?”
“Well, it’s just that …”
“It’s all about keeping clean. Nothing pleasurable if that’s what you’re driving at. Nothing like what you do with your hand. By the way, I’d appreciate it if you wouldn’t pet me afterwards. Nope, no pleasure; it’s all business. You made sure of that when you had me “fixed”, remember. Thank you very much.”
“Oh yeah, sorry about that. I had no idea you knew any different.”
“No idea my butt. I’ll ‘no idea’ ya.” He paused again to lick his right paw again and then continued. “But I don’t hold it against you. We don’t hold grudges. Heck, if we did, we would have mauled most humans dead by now. Which brings me to why I am talking to you.”
“No grudges. Really? I mean that “fixing” stuff is pretty serious. That’s pretty good if that doesn’t bother you.”
“You done? Can I get to my concern?”
“Sure. Sorry. Go ahead.”
“How can humans be so smart supposedly, while they single handedly are destroying the Earth?”
“You mean global warming?”
“It’s more than that. It’s the air. It’s the water. It’s the dirt. It’s the forests. It’s the killing. It’s the anger. It’s the hate. It’s the grudges. It’s the fear. It’s everything.”
“Oh come on. You’re being a little dramatic.”
“We don’t know dramatic.”
“Well give me examples of what you mean.”
“First of all, the air is filled with danger. Dogs, cats, birds, animals of all kinds can smell it. It is our biggest topic when we get together.”
“I don’t smell a thing.”
“Yeah, that’s part of the problem. And you can’t taste the troubled water either.”
“Scientists don’t seem to be complaining. So I should be listening to a dog?”
“We have no agenda. Dogs call it as they smell it.”
“ ‘call it as they smell it’; I’m suppose to just accept that?”
“Yeah, there is a lot you should just accept.”
“Oh yeah, like what else?”
“Well, and here is what I think is the crux of the problem, you keep choosing the wrong alpha humans.”
“What?”
“You’ve got this alpha thing all wrong. Just because animals order their packs based on physical size and strength doesn’t make it so for humans. We do it because we are simple. You do it because you are thoughtless. That’s what we, and I think it is fair to say I am speaking for all animals, don’t get. Humans are able to think things through. But they never do. Well, that’s not completely true; some have but they are mocked or marginalized.
An alpha dog barks and gets all puffy, like that wacky shepherd Sarge from around the block. The worst he can do is break out of his electronic fence and charge one of us. But you humans take it up a notch.”
“Can you give me a for instance?”
“God there are so many. Let me see. Okay, you’ve elected a president who pounds his chest and walks around like a gorilla with its arms all out to the side, all tough and all, carrying on with ‘bring it on’. When he jumps the fence, he brings tanks and bombs and humans loaded down in weapons and in body armor. Meanwhile, you have alpha males all over the place, flexing their muscle in their packs, threatening to obtain nuclear weapons, the great equalizer, giving the president one excuse after another to hop the fence. It’s nuts. And I for one am telling you, you’ve got it all wrong.”
“Well, I don’t know what to say.”
“You don’t need to say anything. Just start picking the right alpha humans; humans whose visions see beyond fighting, whose hearts hold no grudges, whose thoughts and reasons are not the products of testosterone, whose collective knowledge is rooted in the concept that true peace is never the consequence of war but the outcome of constant learning, negotiating and adjusting.”
“This is what you want to tell me? Nothin’ for nothin’ but it’s a little heavy for a little chat with a dog at 3:30 in the morning.”
“In a nut shell, yeah.”
It was hard to accept this from my beagle. I mean, he’s a dog; a sleeping, eating, sniffing, crapping dog. I was chalking this whole episode up to stress. I was apparently snapping.
“That’s it. I’m pretty much done. Just one last thing while I have the chance.”
“What? World hunger? String theory?” I asked sarcastically.
“You get the right alpha humans and the world hunger thing will take care of itself, smart ass. As far as string theory, who do you think I am, Hawking? I’m just a dog. No it’s more pedestrian than that, something I think you can manage.”
“Then what, already?” I asked impatiently.
“You know that thing you do occasionally where you empty the dish washer in the buff.”
“Ummm … yeah I guess.”
“Put some clothes on. It’s disturbing. I’m beggin’ ya, please!”
“All right, but only if you lick your privates in private.”
“I’ll see what I can do. No promises.”
“So this is it? No more talking? You know we could make a fortune on Letterman with his stupid pet tricks.”
“It’ll never happen. You see, this is a one time deal. Not sure why or how this is happening. Maybe that God guy is involved somehow. All I know is that when it is done, it is …” He abruptly stopped talking.
“Parker?”
Not a grunt. He yawned and as he did he stretched his front legs out and spread across the foot of the bed, his ears resting flat on the blanket.
“Parker … are you done? Is that it?”
He slowly closed his eyes and floated off to sleep.
“Parker … just like that?”
He began to twitch; in hot pursuit of a fox I imagined.
“Holy smokes. I must be dreaming myself.”
I curled back down under the safety of my covers, scratched my butt and thought about the conversation I had just had with Parker or myself or both. I sniffed the air. It smelled fine to me. What the heck was he talking about, ‘danger in the air’? It had to be a dream.
As I drifted off to sleep, I thought about getting a real job real soon, apparently this writing stuff was getting the best of me. I also made a point to remember to talk to the owners of that crazy cairn terrier. I thought it was the least I could do. One can’t be too dismissive of the unexplainable these days.
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The debate in many towns continues throughout this country about who should hold the responsibility of educating young people about sex and sexuality. On one side of the spectrum there are those who believe that parents and only parents should be teaching such sensitive and value-fill information to kids. On the other side, there are those who say that not enough education is being done in the home and that the schools need to step up and do the right thing by kids.
To further the debate and increase its complexity is the question about what exactly kids need to know and when. President Bush has issued his own view on the matter by granting government funding for those schools and programs that provide “abstinent only” education, meaning that there is no discussion about anything but abstaining from sex until marriage. Many people believe, and most research proves, that this message severely short changes children and could potentially set them up for making bad and or even life threatening decisions.
Many parents that I talk to believe in comprehensive education (talking about all aspects of sex and sexuality including abstinence), and are always comforted to hear that research is firm in showing that kids want to hear it from their parents and often make better choices when they have had those parental conversations.
But…..parents as sex educators…. This prospect for some is almost as frightening as the concept of kids having sex. Take it from me; it doesn’t have to be frightening. There is so much information available that anyone, even parents, can do a great job. There are just a few things to keep in mind in order to be successful.
A. Be honest and open. The rule is that if a kid asks a question, he got the idea from somewhere and needs to have an age appropriate response. Ignoring the question or telling a child that he/she shouldn’t be asking about such things sends the message that certain questions are off limits and they will take those questions elsewhere, school friends for example, who don’t always have the correct answers or have the family values that you would want articulated in mind. Keep in mind the "age appropriate" part of this tip. As parents we don't want our kids to know to much to soon, but developmentally, they may be more advanced and ready to hear more than you think. If you aren't sure, look it up.
B. It is ok to share your values and morals and what you expect for your family. I think that often parents feel like they can’t express their own expectations for their children when they educate about sexuality. You can talk about methods of pregnancy and disease prevention at the same time that you are talking about abstinence and relationship building. One is not exclusive of the other.
C. It is also ok to set limits and boundaries where you need. Talking about a penis in the middle of the grocery store is not appropriate. Those types of situations can easily be handled by telling a child that his or her question is valid and important, but would be much better dealt with at home. The thing to remember here is that you must go back to your child with the question when you said you would. Thinking that your child will just forget and you’ll be off the hook does nothing for your credibility. And trust me, your kids will not forget, they will just remind you that you forgot when it suits their needs.
D. Often times a parent will get a question about a topic or a situation that they are not comfortable with or have very little information about. It is critical for parents to know and believe that they do not have to be experts in sex education. They must be able to, however, know their limits and know where to get the resources they need to refer their children for the right answers. It is also ok to admit to your child that you aren’t the best person to talk about this topic, but that you know the person who is.
E. As difficult as it may be, it is also important to completely understand what your child is asking and why he/she is asking the question. I heard a story once that a little girl asked her Dad what secs was. Hearing this, Dad automatically assumed that she was asking about sex and went into his whole birds and bees lecture. When he was finished he asked his daughter why she had asked the question. The young daughter stated that mom said that dinner would be done in a couple of secs. She just wanted to know what that meant. Clarifying the question is vital to making sure that you are answering their questions thoroughly and completely.
F. Bone up on your own education. It is not enough that your children know about the latest method of birth control, you should also know. Know what it is that kids are talking about and thinking about when it comes to sexuality. Go to teen websites, read teen magazines, have conversations with your kids. The more information you have the better you can educate your kids.
G. Take advantage of teachable moments. Kids won’t always want to talk to their parents. Especially if you haven’t set up your home environment this way. So you may have to bring up a subject out of the blue. Use situations that you see on television shows or articles that you have read to get kids opinions. Ask them what they think. Share with them what you think and why. For example, you are watching the latest episode of The Bachelor. Ask you child how they feel about having intimate relationships with so many people in such a short time. Discuss the messages that you think the show sends, find out what messages your child is receiving. How do they feel about group dates? Anything to open up those lines of communication.
So, what do you do when the big day comes and your child asks you a tough question? You can start by using the C.A.L.M. method of answering.
C- Clarify the question. Ask the child why the question is being asked. Where did the topic come up? What does the child know about the topic or what does he/she think the answers are. This will definitely make sure that you are staying on the right track.
A- Answer the question basically. I like to think about building blocks when answering tough questions. You start with the most basic answer and then build on that answering from the next level and so on. Try to avoid the tendency to lecture. Kids, especially young ones, rarely listen to a long explanation; they only are listening for they think they want to hear. This could become problematic in that kids will not hear the correct answer or they will interpret incorrectly what you have said.
L- Listen to your child response. By answering basically you allow your child to let you know if he/she got the complete answer they were looking for. If they ask you another question, you know you need to go to the next building block. Don’t forget to watch for body language too. Some children may not have the words to ask more questions. But you know your child and you will know when his body language shows that he isn’t clear or in completion with your answer.
M- Motivate your child to continue to feel comfortable to ask more questions. Letting kids know that you are a safe person to come back to and that you will continue to answer their questions will keep them doing so.
We all want to do what is best for our kids, and for most of us, their safety is priority one. Use these tips to approach sexuality education in your own home with confidence!
